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DR James Smibert - Eulogy
Early in WWII, on 20 February 1940, James Smibert and Helen Winslow were married in England at Christ Church, Shamley Green, near Guildford in Surrey. This was shortly before James left for Sierra Leone for service with the British Royal Army Medical Corps. They met at the Royal Surrey County Hospital in Guildford. James was a resident there from April 1939 to January 1940 and Helen a physiotherapist. They left to get married from the Shamley Green home of Guildford GP, Digs Hugo and his wife Jane, whom they had met through the County Hospital. Jane Hugo was one of my mother.s dearest friends. Guildford is also my home town. The Smiberts and the Hugos became firm friends. James and Digs also served together in the RAMC during the Burma campaign. Libby and Wendy were born in the UK, and the family left for Melbourne in 1948. There they bought a house in Mayfield Avenue, Malvern, which they called 'Shamley Green'. Then followed Linden and Barbie, thus completing their family. I arrived in Melbourne in January 1962 to stay with Australian friends I had met in Singapore some years previously. The Australian Government's £10 migrant scheme provided a wonderful excuse for a two year working holiday! Wendy tells me that because she was born in England post-WWII, her parents had to pay £12 for her migrant fare in 1948 . the rest of the family came for free! I met my husband, Ian, nine days after my arrival and it was during our extremely brief courtship that I first met James and Helen, as a result of an introduction from Jane Hugo. I was invited to play tennis at 'Shamley Green' and was delighted when Helen invited Ian as well. I have always remembered my first visit to 'Shamley Green'. In between sets, Helen and I talked in the kitchen . that epicentre of Smibert Family Life - not forgetting Barbie.s favourite .Early Kooka. stove! I felt so much at home and, although we had only just met, I was able to ask Helen her opinion of Ian. .He seems a very nice young man,. she said. We were engaged a week or so later . just eight weeks after I landed in Melbourne, Helen and James were pillars of strength before, during and after our wedding in June 1962. My sister Margaret came out from England and was invited to stay with them. On The Day itself the bridal party, plus guests James, Helen & Libby all left from 'Shamley Green' for Scotch College Chapel. James told me he regarded the occasion as a preview for future events he was confident would take place at 'Shamley Green'. I am sure that among all his personal papers a file will be found entitled 'Weddings - What to do' and 'What not to do'. Among the 'To dos' would be 'always keep a ball of string handy' . Wendy has reminded me that Peter Gray's dress shirt had shrunk in the wash. Peter, who gave me away, was a very large man, so one of James' dress shirts would not have fitted. Helen then turned the house upside down, searching for string so she could slit the shirt down the back and lace it up - no one would know from looking at the wedding photos. Then among the 'Not do Dos'. not-to-rush-the-bride-down-the-aisle-looking-as though-you-have-to-catch-the-groom-before-he-has-second-thoughts! Peter was not only partially deaf, he was also tone deaf and the little bridesmaids had to run to keep up with us! James was certainly not tone deaf! Seven months later I thought I was pregnant, so I asked James to look after me. That was the second excellent decision I made after arriving in Australia. James was the most caring and dedicated obstetrician one could hope to meet. He was always available - night and day. He understood completely the needs of mothers in caring for their babies and above all, the needs of those who wished to breast feed their babies, as I did. After a relatively easy birth, I encountered feeding difficulties. However, despite the authoritarian and unhelpful attitude of the maternity hospital, James helped me establish the feeding of our first and very small baby daughter, Fiona. In February 1966, shortly after the birth of our second daughter - no feeding problems this time - I joined a new organisation, the Nursing Mothers' Association. I told James that they seemed a very sensible and professional group of women. This pleased him because, on the advice of Dr Lorna Lloyd-Green, he was due to meet the Founder, Mary Paton and one of the Founding Members, Jan Barry. He was very impressed; asked them if he could join, and was promptly signed up as NMA's first male member. His interest in and support of the organisation lasted for the rest of his life. At a time when we were labelled as 'crackpots' and 'fanatics' by some members of the medical profession, he was there to reassure us, both personally and publicly. He was always so proud of being an Honorary Advisor and an Honorary Member. But above all, that he was the first male member and he wanted to talk about this every time I visited him last year first at Cabrini and then at St Georges Hospitals. I know that the founding and success of the NMA, vindicated his beliefs, not only in the importance of human milk, but also that so many mothers really wanted to breast feed their babies. However, it was not always easy being one of his patients. After the quick and uncomplicated birth of our third daughter late one Friday evening in June 1968, I asked James if she could room-in with me. "Certainly," he said, "you know what you are doing". We spent a lovely weekend getting to know each other. On the Monday morning a furious Sister-in-Charge of the nursery stormed into my room. "Of course you are one of his patients, " she fumed. "This is not hospital policy. Wait till I see him". As he always visited me well after hours, there was faint hope of that, but the confrontation was not good for my let-down! Thirty one years later, our eldest daughter Fiona was delivered at Cabrini of a very small, but healthy baby daughter. James went to visit her. "I have come to see my patient," he told staff at the Nurses' Station. "It's quite all right," he said in response to their horrified expressions, "it is one of my patients who has had the baby". He rang me afterwards. "Aren't you proud of what you have achieved?" I asked him. "Mother and baby together in a lovely room; a double bed so the new father can stay with them?" It was not yet quite right, he said. A nurse was in the room settling the baby. In his opinion, Fiona should have been settling her baby with the nurse assisting. In conclusion I want to pay tribute to Helen. James was the first to admit that her love and support during their sixty years of marriage meant everything to him both in his family life and in his career. He coped valiantly after her death nearly three years ago, trying to achieve some normality and maintain her standards. He invited me to afternoon tea on 28 May 2001. There was a beautiful cloth on the trolley, the best china was set out and Barbie had made a cake. Then he wanted to reminisce . how he and Helen had met, the difference she had made to his life, the births of their daughters and how proud they were of them and their grandchildren; also my husband, daughters and grandchildren. Not forgetting, of course, the Nursing Mums. Finally he said, "I think the sun is over the yardarm, will you join me in a drink?" And so we drank to Helen's memory and to other absent friends. Vale, James.
Bridget Sutherland, Honorary Member, former Vice-President, P.R.O.
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